Many of us can think back to what wedding parties were like when we were kids – 9 hot pink dresses with puffy sleeves and lace hats alongside 9 black tuxes with shiny matching cumberbunds – anyone? If your face is twisted in revulsion at the thought of this, then you are right there with most modern brides. Â Beyond dismissing the fashion of it in favor of a simpler more tasteful style, I am also loving the trend of smaller bridal parties. Â Your wedding is about you and your husband, and each choice you make should be a reflection of who you are and what you like. Time to toss out those â€œwedding obligationsâ€ (send them away with the puffy-sleeved dresses!)
In case youâ€™re on the fence about how to choose your bridal party, or unsure where â€œreally amazing best friendsâ€ turn into â€œkind of good friendsâ€ turn into â€œI probably shouldâ€, hereâ€™s a few reasons to keep it small.
1. Less is More
If youâ€™re a person who loves the chaos of it all, you might enjoy the buzz of a 12 person wedding party around you at all times. Â But for those who like simplicity, a smaller wedding party means less stress and less obligations. Â The fewer bridesmaids and groomsmen you have, the fewer schedules you have to coordinate for wedding events and the less people you have to keep track of on your wedding day. Â When it comes to picture time and bridesmaid 1 is refreshing her drink, bridesmaid 2 has wandered off in search of a bathroom, bridesmaid 3 is checking on her children, bridesmaid 4 thinks she left her purse in the dressing room… well you get the idea. Â Smaller wedding parties will save you time, money, stress, and valuable bits of your sanity when â€œI-doâ€ rolls around.
2. Your Wedding is Your Wedding
I cannot stress this enough: your wedding is about you and your future husband deciding to make a commitment. Â It is not about a friend you were close with in high school who you rarely see nowadays and it is not about a cousin who asked you to stand up in her wedding three years ago. Â Each choice you make as you plan your wedding is a reflection of who you are as a couple. Â Wedding parties no longer need to follow the old Southern tradition of having your future sisters-in-law stand up (frankly, if you werenâ€™t friends before the engagement, they can rest easy in the second row). Â The same goes for having kiddos stand up in the wedding. Â It is incredibly valuable to have your own children involved in your wedding, or little ones you are very close to, but all to often couples are tracing out their family tree to find children simply because they think they should. Â Each time you decide on someone for your wedding party, ask yourself if it is really what you want. Â The people who care most for you will honor your choices and be glad for you, and anyone who would cause drama over your decisions, well… be glad they arenâ€™t in the wedding party.
3. The Best of the Best
The absolute best thing about small wedding parties, is that the people you choose are going to be the friends-forever-and-no-matter-what type. Â And that means when your wedding day arrives and you are stressed and nervous, they will be there to calm you down and fix problems before they even happen (instead of that ex-roomate who is just admiring herself in the mirror, and worrying about how she looks in her dress). Â Extra people doesnâ€™t always mean extra help; the right people means extra help. Â These special bridesmaids who made the cut will be the ones crying through the ceremony right alongside you and pulling bobbypins from their own hair to make sure that yours look perfect. Â Thatâ€™s who you want standing up with you.
Worried about offending those who donâ€™t stand up? Â There are still many ways to honor people you care for who might not be the right fit for your bridal party.Â You could ask them to be ushers or personal attendants, or to perform a reading during the ceremony. Are they family you arenâ€™t sure you want in the party? Consider giving them a corsage or boutonniere to honor your relationship. Â Many times they will be glad to skip the expense and enjoy the view from the crowd.
Choosing your wedding party is a decision you and your fiancÃ© will need to make together, and going with a small party may not be the best fit for your personalities or wedding theme. Â No matter what you plan or what route you go, think about what you want as a couple, and toss those â€œmiss manners obligationsâ€ on the pile with lace parasols and permed hair. Â Do your wedding your way and enjoy every minute!